The ambiguity of bisexual, bisensual, pansexual, omnisexual and queer leaves unresolved the lack of an identity that encompasses the full specturm of experiences among bisexuals, pansexuals and omnisexuals. I have read in some places, and discussed face to face in others, of the possibility of bi, pan and omni existing as a more or less unified identity. When I realized I was bisexual, the realization with the deepest impact was the possibility that I could be attracted to men in addition to women. My sexuality went beyond monosexual straightness, and in that I felt that I understood, in a still limited way yet more deeply than before, the identity of a close friend I'll call Z who, while she could be called omnisexual or pansexual, identifies as queer. We share the experiences of lives beyond monosexual norms. I have not felt attraction towards those beyond male or female as Z has, but I do not rule out the possibility. What matters most is the personality of the individual in question, not their gender. For this reason, I have considered identifying as queer--but then the ambiguity gets confusing. Further, queer and bi both don't mean very much. They're mostly labels, implying, in my mind very little action, or at least unclear action. Bisexual makes me feel like I'm just a sexual being, which is not the case. Bi, without the sexual, feels better, but it still implies the gender dichotomy established and enforced by monosexist patriarchy. Queer at least feels radical and world-changing--but in what way, precisely? The word inspires me only so far--to go beyond straight. But now that I'm there, what it my task? I find myself sitting on the fence.
Bisexuals have long been accused of fence sitting, unable to decide which "side" to belong to--either straight or gay. Fence sitting has gained a place of dishonor as a slur thrown around by monosexists. Perhaps straight and gay people believe that they can coerce us to jump down from the fence, but the truth of the matter is,
- we can choose no other place, for the liminal space between the two ends of the spectrum is the only place we can truly claim--anything else would be dishonest and ultimately destructive; and
- in reality, the fence was not built by us (bi, pan and omnisexuals), but by monosexuals, to do what fences do: contain all people like livestock, free to move only to a certain point. To cross the fence is to enter the turf of the fence-builder's competitor.